He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
