Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
only if we run a train.
done.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
