Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
