what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
