Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
