haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
