My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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