You just made me feel so damn special
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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