Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
