I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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