omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
