i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
