My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
