ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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