You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
