i was born a porn star she said
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
