You're my little dorito
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
