I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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