North Korea, Best Korea!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
