great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
