He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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