She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
