It's Friday. Sex?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
