she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
