Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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