im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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