found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
