Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
