Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
