I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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