And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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