another moral hangover. fuck.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
