My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
