you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
