remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
