I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Drunk is not a location!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
