My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
