i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
