He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
