I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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