Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
