Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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