Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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