ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
