i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
