i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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