then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
