spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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