I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
