There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
