Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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