his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
