dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
