i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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