Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
