If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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