Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
