you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
