dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
