A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
