Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
