she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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