i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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