i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
