Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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