hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
