P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize